Sleep Better: Sex, Stress, and Sleep – Part II

Posted by on May 29, 2013 in Food Facts, Health and Libido, Recipes, Uncategorized | 3 comments

Sleep Better: Sex, Stress, and Sleep – Part II


Man asleep hugging teddy bear

Snooze for better sex

Less sleep equals less testosterone.  It’s a simple fact of physiology and the correlation has been validated by research.

A study conducted in 2011 at the University of Chicago with a group of 24 year-old guys showed that testosterone levels plummeted when the men were sleep deprived. The experiment began with having the test subjects sleep for 10 hours for 3 nights.  Blood tests were done during this phase to track their testosterone levels, and then their testosterone levels were measured again during the second phase in which they were only allowed five hours of sleep for eight days. The results showed that testosterone declined by as much as 15% when the men didn’t get enough snooze time.  Considering that the normal decline in testosterone as men age is around 2% per year, the whopping percentage drop experienced by the study group is quite significant!

According to Professor Eve Van Cuter, who led the sleep study, “Low testosterone levels are associated with reduced well-being and vigor, which may also occur as a consequence of sleep loss.”

In addition to dampening your sex drive, lack of quality sleep is also linked to metabolic syndrome, a condition that sets you up for heart disease, stoke, and Type II diabetes.

So, how many hours are you sleeping every night?

In my last post, I covered six steps to good slumber.  In this post, I want to share with you foods that will help you to de-stress and create the necessary internal chemicals for deep sleep.

Tryptophan,  Carbohydrate, and Vitamin B-6

One of the most important substance for good sleep is the amino acid, tryptophan.  Perhaps the best example of tryptophan’s sleep-inducing effect is the Thanksgiving turkey meal. But tryptophan is helpful for sleep only if it can convert to serotonin, and then melatonin.  And in order for this to happen,  we also need a carbohydrate and vitamin B-6. So, the gobble-gobble meal sends you into a comatose state because it is combined with a large amount of carbohydrates (from the mashed potato to the pumpkin pies, and if you also get in B-6 from some vegetables), then the magical combo happens. Of course, you shouldn’t gorge yourself on a Thanksgiving-like feast in order to sleep better.  The secret is to combine foods that contain tryptophan (turkey, chicken, pork, salmon, shrimp, yogurt, nuts) with healthy carbohydrates from whole grains (preferably gluten-free) and ingredients that contain vitamin B-6 (most vegetables contain B-6, but there are some that have a higher amount, including peas, asparagus, salad greens, broccoli, cauliflower, turnips, and sweet potatoes).

Here are three recipes from my collection to help you get started.  To boost the carbohydrates, serve these dishes with cooked brown rice, gluten-free pasta, or a sweet potato.

Chicken Stew with Duet of Spices

Turkey Loaf with Cauliflower Mash

Roasted Chicken with Celery

Other Foods That Will Make You Sleep Better

  • Enjoy 1 cup of organic yogurt (tryptophan and magnesium) sweetened with molasses (B6)
  • Organic peanut butter (tryptophan) with banana (potassium, complex carbohydrate, and B6)
  • Glass of warm/hot organic milk (tryptophan and B6) sweetened with a touch of honey (carbohydrate)

How to Fall Asleep: Five More Natural Sleep Aids

  • Do not drink coffee after 2 PM.
  • Take a hot bath with 2-4 cups of Epsom Salt (the magnesium contained in Epsom Salt will help to ease stress and relax your muscles).
  • Enjoy a cup of chamomile tea.
  • Do a deep breathing exercise for 10 minutes to calm your parasympathetic nervous system.
  • Place a couple drops of lavender oil in your palms, rub, and inhale deeply before going to bed.

Sweet Dreams!

Your Kitchen Seduction Ally,



Coren, Stanley. Sleep Thieves. New York: Free Press Paperbacks. 1996.
Hough, Andrew. Lack of Sleep ‘Kills a Man’s Sex Drive’, The Telegraph. June 3, 2011.
Thomson, Julie. Lack of Sleep Could Lower Men’s Sex Drive. Huffington Post. August, 12, 2011
Schoenfeld, Pam. B6, The Underappreciated Vitamin, Weston A. Price Foundation. April 1, 2011.

Sleep Better: Sex, Stress and Sleep Part I

Posted by on May 22, 2013 in Health and Libido, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Sleep Better: Sex, Stress and Sleep Part I
A young man sleeping

Man sleeping. Image via ThePhotoBin on Flickr

Sleep, stress, sex: three interesting words; two of which I love to experience.

How are these three related? Correlated?  Connected?

Stress is the necessary evil that we have come to worship.  There are some who feel that it is necessary to fill every minute of every hour with something to do, to worry about, to sweat over.  That  a work day should be filled with stress  because that’s how you keep the adrenaline going, and that’s how you get things done.  Death will come for everyone, stress makes it come sooner.  So, if you want to live long, be healthy, and enjoy plenty of sex; then you must learn to de-stress.

Last week, we touched upon the connection of how indulging in junk food, and gorging on too many carbs and sugar can create physical stress for your body and thus negatively affect your sex life.  This week, we address the correlation between lack of adequate sleep and the toll that it takes, not only on your ability to perform in bed, but on your work and overall health.

How Much Sleep Do You Need?

First of all, what is adequate sleep?  Eight hours?  Six, maybe?  Could you get away with five?  According to many health experts, and the National Sleep Foundation, most adults need at least seven to nine hours of slumber.  And when you sleep also matters.  Humans are biologically affected by the circadian rhythm, which means that we have an internal clock that governs our sleep-wake cycle and this entrainment also affects our hormone production.  One of the most important hormone connected with sleep, sex, and health is the “hormone of darkness,” or melatonin.

(The word melatonin comes from the Greek word, melas, which means black.)

This hormone is released by the pineal gland, an amazing little powerhouse, located deep within the brain that syncs us to the Earth’s magnetic field.

The Melatonin and Testosterone Connection

When it comes to libido, you may think that testosterone is king, but the truth is that melatonin is a more critical factor because the proper release of this hormone throughout the day-night cycle affects the rest of your hormonal production, including testosterone.

Melatonin is released in very small amounts, during the day, and then at night, with the help of darkness, it skyrockets to around ten times the daily level and peaks around midnight.  If your sleep cycle is off, you may be producing high levels of melatonin in the morning, which not only makes you groggy, but according to Dr. Abraham Kryger, an expert on hormonal health,

 “High melatonin levels in the morning resulting from reversed daily circadian rhythms leads to a testosterone deficiency and sleepiness during the day.”

And to make matters worse, if your melatonin production cycle is off due to inadequate sleep, you may eat more than you should, and the pounds start to accumulate and turn into over-inflated “love handles”.  You see, another hormone, leptin, which governs appetite control, is also lowered when melatonin production goes wacky.  With low leptin, your body can’t provide you with the proper “stop eating you’re full” signal, and you binge on carbohydrates.  This leads to excessive fat storage, which will turn your testosterone into estrogen!  And now you have entered the vicious cycle of bad sleep, low sex drive, getting fat, and depressed.

Welcome to the world!

So, how do you got off from this wheel of misfortune and sleep better?  Well, don’t lose more sleep worrying. Start by engaging in good sleep hygiene.

Here are a six easy steps to get you snoozing.  I’ll reveal more links between sleep and sex and even include a few recipes to help you get snoozing in Part II of Sleep, Stress, and Sex.

How to Fall Asleep: Six Steps for Better Sleep

  1. Avoid using your computer or watching TV at least an hour or so before going to bed. These devices emit blue light, which sends a false signal to your brain, tricking it into thinking it’s still daytime, when it is already night. Remember, melatonin needs the dark to be released at optimal levels at night.
  2. Get outdoors and expose yourself to sunlight! The amount of melatonin your pineal gland produces is directly dependent on the amount of bright sun exposure you get during the day, and the degree of darkness in your bedroom at night. (See step #4)  If you are glued to a computer all day long, the balance will be off. At a minimum, try to get at least 15 minutes of strong sunlight in the morning and you’ll sleep better at night.
  3. Sleep in complete darkness. Create a cave-like ambiance free of electrical devices.  Your pineal gland is so sensitive, that even the slightest bit of artificial light or EMF (electromagnetic fields) can curtail production of melatonin.  So, remove or cover your electrical clock, and keep your cell phone and laptop, and other wireless devices away from your bedroom when you sleep.
  4. Enjoy a hot bath before going to bed. This increases your core body temperature, and when you get out of the bath it abruptly drops, signaling your body that you are ready to sleep.
  5. You’ll sleep better if you keep your bedroom on the cool side.  Optimal temperature for sound slumber is between 65 – 70 degrees Fahrenheit.
  6. Avoid using loud alarm clocks. Jarring noise in the morning sends a shock through your system, and creates unnecessary stress. I use a sunrise stimulation alarm clock which gently wakes you up with a soothing increase of light, and then a gentle chyme alarm: BioBrite Sunrise Clock Advanced Model

Your kitchen seduction ally,

Coren, Stanley. Sleep Thieves. New York: Free Press Paperbacks. 1996.
Kryger, Abraham. M.D. A Doctor’s Guide to Sex, Love, and Long Life. Monterey: WellnessMD Publications, 2004.
Wiley, T.S. Lights Out. New York: Pocket Books, 2000.



Gluten Free Cooking Class

Posted by on May 20, 2013 in Events, Gluten-Free Diet, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Gluten Free Cooking Class
Sweet Potato Croquettes

Sweet Potato Croquettes

Learn to makes these Sweet Potato Croquettes with a Creamy No-Cream Cilantro Dip
and other delicious gluten free gourmet dishes.

Come cook with Karen on June 9th, Sunday

Gluten Free Meals Made Easy

·      Are you ready to go gluten-free , but don’t know how to manage without bread, pasta, and cake? 

·      Can’t quite kick the gluten laden stuff, although you know that it’ll cause bloating, digestive problems, and unwanted weight gain?

·      Want to learn easy and delicious gluten dishes?

This hands-on cooking + nutrition class is the perfect way for you to ease into the gluten-free lifestyle!

We’ll start with an introduction of what gluten is, and why it is so detrimental to your physical and mental health, along with other hot tips for healthy cooking, including information on herbs and spices that help your body to detoxify deliciously!

 Presented by : Karen Diggs, Certified Nutritionist & Therapeutic Chef

Here’s the menu:

Crostinis with Heirloom Tomato & Basil
                           * * *
Spicy Sweet Potato Croquettes with a
     Creamy Cilantro Dip (dairy-free)

Summer Zucchini Salad with Dandelion & Pecans

Main Course
Chicken Roulade with Gremolata


Gluten-free Cake with Summer Berries

The class will be held at Cook!, a sustainable, organic, gluten-free service kitchen.

Date: Sunday, June 9, 2013 

Time: 10:00am

Location: Cook! Kitchen, 3310 Peralta Street, Oakland, CA 94608

Early Bird Pricing:$85 (before May 23)

General Admission: $125

Click HERE to sign up. Space is limited.

Stress, Sex and Food

Posted by on May 14, 2013 in Digestive Health, Food Facts, Health and Libido, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Stress, Sex and Food
man on cell phone, eating, driving, drinking coffee



If you’re stressed, you may think about sex as a diversion.  If you are stressed about mediocre sex, you may think of how stressed you are as an excuse.  If you are having a hard time getting laid at all, you may be stressed to the point of exploding, causing you even more stress.

A small amount of stress is necessary for survival, and even seductive at times.  Look, haven’t you ever multi-tasked to the brink of collapse because you thought that it would impress your buddies and girlfriend?

“ Yeah, I just ripped the trail on my mountain bike, while designing a new app, and made a killing on my stock options, and all the while thinking about you, babe. Now, I’m off to the airport.”

We are too obsessed with stress. Enamored of it, right?  But the blunt truth is that it is one of the main causes of unhealthy conditions like high blood pressure, heart disease, depression and even PE; that is pre-mature ejaculation.  ( Ah, the formidable e word that can make you shrivel to the size of a prune when it is preceded by “pre-mature!)

You see, when your digestion goes amuck, it creates a build-up of toxins that will lodge in your body, which will then affect your endocrine system (which houses sites that produce critical hormones, including your sex hormones.) A faulty endocrine system will cause stress, and according the famous endocrinologist, Hans Selye: “During stress the sex glands shrink and become less active in proportion to the enlargement and increased activity of the adrenals.”

All that comes down to: stress will shrink your sexual potency.

Just be honest and look at your own stress levels, gents.  There are endless sources of stress but did you know that a bad diet is a major stresser to your body and mind? If the guy in the photo looks like you, then you may want to consider options to slow down.  Start by reading the rest of this blog to learn about foods that cause stress vs. foods that help to calm your nerves and, indirectly, boost your libido.

Well, let me alleviate some stress here and reveal to you the top five foods that can help to you to calm down. But before we do that, here are the top five foods that cause extreme stress to your digestion, which means that it will cause you stress all over.

Top Five Foods That Cause Stress

  • Processed sugar – wears out your pancreas by causing a constant demand for insulin production.  It is also extremely acidic, which means that it will deplete your reserve of buffering minerals such as magnesium and potassium.
  •  High fructose corn syrup – same as processed sugar, but even worse because it contains mercury and other contaminates.
  • Processed vegetable oils and hydrogenated fats – contribute to inflammation and degradation of cell to cell communication.
  • Soy protein isolates and related soy products – lead to estrogen dominance which increases your risk of prostate and breast cancers. Yes, men also get breast cancer.  And soy products also lower testosterone.
  • Refined carbohydrate-based foods such as bagels, donuts, pastries, and pizzas.  Why? Because they all contain a very damaging protein known as gluten.
    For an eye-opening article by Dr. Hyman, “Gluten:What You Don’t Know Might Kill You.” Yeah, that could seriously curtail your sex life.
    If that doesn’t convince you, allow me to recommend a really entertaining and informative read by Dr. Davis,
    Wheat Belly: Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight, and Find Your Path Back to Health

Now, onward…

Top Five Foods That Reduce Stress

  • Avocados – contain a treasure trove of nutrients, including potassium, magnesium, B-vitamins and omega-3.  It also supplies the body with glutathione, an important antioxidant that helps with your liver and immune system.
  • Celery – is packed with minerals, especially potassium which is critical for energy exchange of cells, and heart health, which means that it is also great for circulation. AND eating celery increases your scent of attraction to women.
  • Free-range eggs – provide high-quality, nutrient-dense protein, along with a gamut of nutrients including cholin, a key component for maintaining healthy cell membranes, nerves, and brain function.  They contain the carotenoids, lutein and zeaxanthine which help to keep your eyes in keen shape.  After all, you do need good vision to spot that girl of your dreams.So, have you wondered about the difference between organic eggs, and free-range (pastured eggs)?  There is a big nutritional and ethical gap between them.Check out this video:
  • Sweet potatoes –  are loaded with beta-carotene, which is a stellar antioxidant.  In addition, they provide potassium, and vitamin C. These delectable tubers are not just a sweetened version of the potato.  Potatoes are from the Solanaceae family, which contain nightshade alkaloids that are known to  cause inflammation for certain individuals.  Sweet potatoes are from the Convolvulaceae family, and are actually classified as an “anti-diabetic” food because they help to stabilize blood-sugar (here’s a delish and easy sweet potato recipe).
  • Walnuts – supply an amazing array of nutrients that offer incredible benefits from your noggin to your nuggins.  Contained within the hard wrinkly shell, is a packed dynamo filled with alpha-linoleic acid (omega-3), zinc, B-vitamins, and vitamin E.  There are numerous studies showing the benefits of walnuts to our health, including one published in Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association.  The results of the study show that “the walnut diet significantly improved endothelium-dependent vasodilation.”  In simple speak, walnuts improve circulation and heart function.  And, men, anything that improves circulation, will improve your libido.
    Just 75 grams a day, that’s about a handful daily, will get you going.  So get cracking.

Your Kitchen Seduction Ally,


Mateljan, George. The World’s Healthiest Foods. Seattle: George Mateljan Foundation, 2007.
Tsuda, Kazushi, “Modulation of Endothelial Function by Walnuts and Sex Hormones”, Circulation, 2004,





Seduction with Celery. Really.

Posted by on May 7, 2013 in Food Facts, Health and Libido, Seduction Tips, Style and Senses, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Seduction with Celery. Really.
Bunch of celery

Celery: The Pheromone Booster

Did you know that this humble, ubiquitous vegetable was highly prized in ancient times as a medicine and a powerful aphrodisiac?
Often neglected  on the crudités platter, or under appreciated as the frivolous garnish to your Bloody Mary, this jade-green stalky member of the Apiaceae family was initially used for its healing properties by the Greeks and Romans, and did not gain popularity as a food until the Middle Ages.  Modern research substantiates traditional wisdom as scientists report that celery contains a substance that increases androsterone, a male pheromone derived from testosterone, which makes men more attractive to women, scent wise.
If you have doubts, let me reassure you that even Dr. Oz recommends celery.
As a matter of fact , Casanova ate celery daily to boost his legendary libido.
For best results, eat celery raw. Try it with almond butter, or tahini (a sesame butter).

In addition to being an aphrodisiac, here are some amazing benefits of celery to be enjoyed by both men & women. Celery:

  • Helps to lower high blood pressure. According to Dr. Michael Murray, eating 4 ribs of raw celery a day  may reduce high blood pressure to healthy levels (see end of post for references).
  • Is extremely low in calories, high in fiber, and as it is over 80% water, celery is the perfect snack food for weight management.
  • Due to celery’s high content of potassium, vitamin C, and other minerals it is nourishing to the adrenals and supports relief of stress and anxiety.
  • Acts as a diuretic, which helps to remove excess fluid retention.
  • Contains natural sodium; about 100 mg. per 2 ribs.

Celery is also a very aromatic vegetable that adds wonderful flavors to cooked foods, especially poultry.  Click here for a delicious and easy roasted chicken with celery recipe.

Your Kitchen Seduction Ally,

Murray, Dr. Michael. Total Body Tune Up. New York:Bantam Books, 2000. (p. 220)


Kiss Deep: Facts on the Benefits of a Good, Long, Snog

Posted by on Apr 30, 2013 in Health and Libido, Seduction Tips, Style and Senses, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Kiss Deep: Facts on the Benefits of a Good, Long, Snog
Couple experiencing the benefits of kissing

Kiss long and deep

Kissing Facts 101

Today we have some kissing facts that will remind you of the benefits of kissing…as if you need extra encouragement to pursue this seductive art. Now who’s ready for Kissing Facts 101?

Lips for Arousal

Our lips are composed of the most sensitive skin on the body and all the nerve cells contained within those two curved vermillion gates act as entry points to extreme erotic pleasure, when they are stimulated by kissing.

According to anthropologist Ashley Montagu, “The lips and the external genitalia are especially well-supplied with concave, disk-like branched sensory nerve endings.”

Those very sensitive sensory nerve endings signal messages to the brain, leading to a cascade of neuro-chemicals that trigger arousal.

Why Do People Kiss? 

Kissing is thought to have evolved from passing food from one mouth to another, as in a parent pre-masticating food to feed a child.

Although we don’t feed mouth to mouth as adults, perhaps there is still a part of us that longs for the nourishment contained within a kiss. The sustenance of affection and love is perhaps the best nourishment of all.

Kissing Benefits

When lovers kiss, a rush of dopamine is released while cortisol, the stress hormone, decreases. Dopamine is that feel-good chemical we all crave, and is also the pre-cursor to epinephrine and norapinephrine, two other important chemicals that help to increase arousal through stimulating blood flow and heart rate. In addition, oxytocin, the “chemical of love” and bonding is also pumping out during smooching.

However, in order for these powerful chemicals to be released, a kiss needs to go on for at least ten seconds. So don’t just pucker up for a lackluster peck. Go slow with a lingering kiss.

Kissing Burns Calories

We generally think of a kiss as being tender, soft, and romantic. However, the act of pursing your lips and touching them to another does involve the applications of your muscles. It’s actually a workout that involves 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles, AND it burns 2-3 calories per minute!

Experts who specialize in facial muscle regeneration recommend the act of kissing to keep your entire face toned and to lessen signs of aging.

You might be obsessed with flexing your abs, but don’t forget your face!

In short, gents: kiss often, kiss long, and kiss deep!

Your Kitchen Seduction Ally,



Field, Tiffany.  Touch. Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 2001.

Fischer, Maryanne MD. The Chemistry of Love. New York: Penguin Group, 2010

Montagu, Ashley. Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin. New York: Harper & Row Publishers, Inc., 1986.

Three Keys to Attraction

Posted by on Apr 23, 2013 in Guest Post, Seduction Tips, Uncategorized | 1 comment

Three Keys to Attraction

Alright men, let’s got down to the core of how to magnetize women using techniques that are simple, yet potent!

I am so excited to share the following hot article written by Shana James, a well-known Dating & Relationship Coach who has helped both men and women achieve sensual and fulfilling connections.

Shana demystifies the secrets of attraction, and teaches you the basic principles that will make women gravitate towards you.

Woman kissing guy with passion

Woman kissing guy with passion

Three Keys to Creating, Rather than Waiting for, Attraction

by Shana James, M.A.

Standing on the train platform, I waited anxiously, irritated that I was going to be late. Until I looked up into the eyes of a stranger and everything in me expanded. There was something about the way he stood tall and full. I felt a wave of cool air rush into my lungs. My body felt warm and tingly. I felt a sense of peace in the way he looked at me. A smile slowly crept over my face. I wanted to be near him and I hoped he wouldn’t look away and end the moment.

It’s that Zing of attraction. When you feel it, it’s thrilling. It turns a blah day into a great day. It nourishes and energizes. When you don’t have your finger on the dial of what creates attraction, it rarely happens. It is frustrating and can cause you to feel resentful and resigned. It can start to seem like you can’t have what you want.

The truth is that you can create attraction, rather than sitting around hoping it will happen! Like building a fire it takes the right combination of space, twigs and logs to burst into flame. It is a skill that can be cultivated, not just a coveted talent given to a few lucky guys at birth. Even if you haven’t consciously created attraction before, you can create a spark with a woman, right from the start.

A note on the “Once a friend always a friend” line. It’s a myth. I’ve coached many men who have become more attractive and able to create attraction, in a matter of minutes. These men have gone from feeling like a friend or a brother to being able to light women up and turn them on! You can do this too.

The Three Keys to Creating, Rather Than Waiting for, Attraction

  1. Presence
  2.  Heart / Mind / Body integration
  3.  Moving beyond NEED


Presence is the ability to feel the moment through noticing your body, sensations, emotions and thoughts. Beyond thinking about them, you feel them. You can even expand your capacity to feel the person you are talking to and the energy in the room around you.

The less distracted you are by your own thoughts, fears and concerns, the more present you’ll be. A man who has cultivated presence and can look me right in the eye without flinching, stops me in my tracks.

Sadly this hardly ever happens! Men who are this present are a RARE find. What that means for you is the more present you become the more you’ll stand out!

You will know if you are present when you see a woman, beyond a fantasy of who she might be, or what you can get from her. You see her as an individual, a woman with desires and dreams, fears and challenges. You do not look up to her or down on her.

When you are PRESENT you’ll feel like you are channeling a storm. You will tune into everything within and around you, with strength and awareness. When you give your attention to a woman you don’t lose awareness of yourself.

If you find yourself feeling tossed around by your or a woman’s emotions then presence is an edge for you to cultivate.

Heart / Mind / Body Integration

When a man is “in his head,” we may have a wonderful intellectual conversation, but if I can’t feel his heart or body it will stop there. When a man opens his heart also, I feel appreciated and cared about. But I may want him more like a brother than a lover.

When a man feels his turn-on, while also being connected with his heart and mind, we’ve hit the jackpot. Tingles. Warmth. Uncontrollable smiles. I get flushed and turned on just thinking about it. A man who has integrated his heart, mind and body is just plain trustworthy and sexy.

How do you know whether you have integrated all three? You’ll feel your energy circulating throughout your WHOLE body. You’ll feel sexual desire while at the same time respecting and caring for women. You’ll be able to sit silently with a woman without feeling panicked or awkward. The chatter in your mind will slow down and you’ll be able to deeply connect with women.

Moving Beyond Need

A man who does not need to be validated is much more fun to be with than a man trying to prove something about himself, or get a quick fix for his wounds. A man who is willing to feel his turn-on without rushing to do anything about it is inspiring and worth my time. Moving beyond need means knowing what you have to offer the world and being fueled by your turn-on without getting lost in it.

When a man does not need me to feel good about himself I can relax. I get to bask in his appreciation of me. I blossom, knowing that because nothing is expected of me we can co-create beautiful things together.

When you move beyond needing women to validate you, you won’t shrivel if a woman says “No.” You’ll know it’s not a woman’s job to make you feel good.

When you are not trying to lure a woman into your clutches, it makes you much more enjoyable and safer to be around. Safe is actually really sexy. It’s not the “you’re a nice guy…let’s be friends” kind of safety! Safe means a woman can actually surrender with you.

It can be YOU!

Recently, a man approached me and said “I am so attracted to you that I had to come tell you.”

At first I laughed and told him it was quite a line. But when I looked into his eyes I felt him—both his heart and his turn-on. I didn’t feel him grasping or trying to get validation from my response. He did not need anything from me in that moment. He was giving me the gift of his attention and his attraction.

You can be a man who lights women up and turns them on. You can create deep, satisfying and hot connections and relationships with women. You can inspire a woman to want more of you!

For a FREE two week e-course on how to create more pleasure for yourself and women, check out:


Shana James in pink

Shana James

About Shana

Shana has worked with hundreds of men and women in the Authentic Man Program and the Authentic Woman Experience. She is passionate about men having profound interactions and relationships with women. She calls out every man’s greatness and believes the world benefits from doing so.

Whether you are single or in relationship, working with Shana WILL help you create more connection, depth and spark with women!

Shana does not teach games or pick up lines. She works specifically with each man to bring awareness to places he holds back and feels stuck. With an open heart and incredible clarity, Shana will see you in a way that will change your life, allowing you to decisively step into the future you want.

Shana draws on years of experience as an individual coach and workshop leader, her Master’s degree in Psychology, and other life practices to create a rich and powerful transformational coaching experience for you.

For more information, contact:

In Praise of Real Mayonnaise

Posted by on Apr 16, 2013 in Appetizers, Gluten-Free Diet, Kitchen Technique, Uncategorized | 0 comments

In Praise of Real Mayonnaise

Real mayonnaise

Real mayonnaise made from free range eggs.

Impress Her With Easy Homemade Mayonnaise

If you think that “real” mayonnaise comes form a jar by way of the supermarket, then you’ve been missing out on one of the most luscious taste sensations around.

Real is real, and in the case of real mayonnaise, the only way to really experience it is when it is made from scratch, with eggs from pastured chickens.

Unreal mayonnaise, and I’m referring to the insipid white stuff  from the grocery store,  labels itself as “real” but is often made with genetically modified soy or canola oil, along with additives such as calcium disodium EDTA, otherwise known as ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid (any ingredient that requires you to catch your breath three times before you can say it should not be ingested).

Store-bought mayo also contains eggs from factory farms, where hens are kept in crowded, unsanitary conditions causing them undue suffering.  Because of extreme over crowding and stress, battery hens are prone to bacterial infections, and are shot up with antibiotics and hormones. The eggs that they lay contain residues which will negatively affect your own hormonal balance when eaten.  What’s more, conventional eggs cannot compare with the taste and nutritional value of free range eggs. (more…)

Hurt So Good: Nettle Soup For A Healthy Libido

Posted by on Apr 9, 2013 in Gluten-Free Diet, Health and Libido, Seduction Tips, Side Dish, Soups, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Hurt So Good: Nettle Soup For A Healthy Libido
bunch of stinging nettles

Bunch of stinging nettles

Nettles sting!  And it hurts! The sting is delivered through tiny bristles on the leaves and stem which contain histamines that cause a burning sensation when touched.

The Latin name of this prolific Spring weed is Urtica Dioica.  This gave rise to the term urtication, which refers to intentionally lashing oneself with fresh stinging nettles in order to relieve skin or joint pains.

Ouch, ouch, ouch!  This somewhat masochistic practice has been used by native peoples around the world, and was relegated to the nebulous realm of folklore until modern scientists discovered that Urtica Dioica does contain  anti-inflammatory substances that act to suppress inflammatory joint diseases like arthritis.

Ah, just to dispel any rising fear, ingesting nettles is the way to increase libido, not the urtication of your vital parts.

How Nettles Help Your Libido

You see, nettles are a premiere herb for your liver.  A congested liver leads to toxic build up which will negatively affect your hormonal function, including production of testosterone.  A faulty liver will also place stress on your adrenals, kidneys, and digestive tract, which will initiate more stress, and stress blunts libido. What to do? Use hepatic herbs to de-congest and tone your liver. That’s right, gents, love your liver to be a rock star lover.

Other hepatic herbs include dandelion, milk thistle, and chicory.  However, nettles are my favorite due to their mild spinach-like flavor and stunning deep emerald green color when cooked.

Foraging for Wild Nettles is Sexy

Nettles are so well known that they need no description.  They may be found, by feeling, in the darkest night.”  ~ Culpeper (1561)

In the spring, stinging nettles grow in abundance. Look for them along shaded trails, moist woodlands, thickets, river banks, or in your neighbor’s garden.  They may even be growing in yours, unrecognized.

There’s something very sexy about a guy who can forage in the wild to provide for the dinner table. It tells her that you have survival skills, a trait that women are naturally drawn to.  So, if you aren’t quite ready to hunt deer, start with some wild greens. Get foraging , but do wear gloves, use scissors and a pair of tongs to avoid that nasty nettles sting!

And just in case, nettles can also be found at farmers’ markets.

I have been stung quite a few times by nettles, but it hasn’t deterred me one bit from looking forward to enjoying its culinary and nutritional treasures every spring. Stinging nettles contain these health benefits:

  • nettle helps with anemia (contains iron)
  • nettle tonifies the gallbladder and spleen
  •  nettle prevents BPH (benign prostate hyperplasia)
  • nettle is healing to the kidneys, and aids in healing a chronic urinary tract infection (UTI)
  • nettle contains vitamin K,  potassium, and calcium along with iron
  • nettle strengthens the respiratory system
  • And most important of all, nettles help to de-congest the liver, which helps with libido

This is an awesome nettle soup for your mojo, by way of the liver.  Absolutely delicious and quite simple to make.

Bowl of nettles soup topped with creme fraiche

Nettles Soup with Creme Fraiche

Nettle Soup with Creme Fraiche

Nettle Soup Ingredients:

  • 4 oz. nettles, trimmed (wear gloves and use scissors)
  • 6 oz. potatoes, peeled and cut into small chunks
  • 3 cups chicken or vegetable broth
  • 3″ white part of a leek, roughly chopped
  • 2 cloves of garlic, peeled
  • Celtic sea salt & fresh ground pepper, to taste

Place the broth, potato chucks, leeks, and garlic in a medium pot and simmer until potatoes are tender.  Add in nettles and continue to cook for about 3–4 minutes, until the leaves have wilted. Season with sea salt, and add fresh ground pepper to taste.

Allow mixture to cool, then transfer nettle soup to a blender and mix until smooth. Enjoy watching the chlorophyll from the nettles turn the soup a beautiful jade/emerald color as you blend.

On date night, re-heat nettle soup in a pan, adjust seasoning as needed,  and top with a good spoonful of creme fraiche or sour cream.  Be prepared to lick the bowl clean!

You can reap the benefits of nettles year round by getting the dried version to make an herbal tea. My favorite place to order organic dried herbs and spices is Mountain Rose Herbs:

Mountain Rose Herbs. A herbs, health and harmony c

We end with a few enthralling factoids on the stinging nettle:

  • The Tibetan Buddhist mystic and saint, Milarepa, lived solely on nettles during his solitary retreat in a mountain cave.  It is said that he became green and enlightened.
  • Nettle flowers in England provide the nectar which is the exclusive nutrient for peacock, and tortoiseshell butterflies. (The English show their proper respect of this plant by celebrating every spring with a “Be Nice to Nettles Week”.
  • Cloth has been woven from the fibers in mature nettle stems for many centuries—frequently nettle is used for tablecloths and sheets in Scotland.

Your Kitchen Seduction Ally,


Weed, Susun. Healing Wise. New York: Ash Tree Publishing,1989.


Wine Her Up: Decanting Wine Part II

Posted by on Apr 2, 2013 in Health and Libido, Kitchen Technique, Libations, Seduction Tips, Style and Senses, Uncategorized | 4 comments

Wine Her Up: Decanting Wine Part II
decanting a bottle of red wine

Decanting red wine

Decanting a Bottle of Wine Sets the Mood

It is important to decant your full-bodied wines, particularly the red wines, to remove sediment and give the powerful flavors a chance to breathe. But if you’re on a date, decanting your wine is just another way to set the mood.

In our hyper-fast, cyber-obsessed, everything-in-less-than-60-seconds world, there may be an unconscious tendency to allow the quick-quick-now habituation to seep into our sex life. This is a grave danger that no aspiring chick-magnet should ever fall prey to! Women need to be courted, and coaxed with a measure of charm.  They need to feel comfortable and safe in order to get into the mood.

According to Dr. Louann Brizendine, author of The Female Brain, ” Women…will rebuff advances or expressions of affection and desire under stress. The reason may be that the stress hormone blocks oxytocin’s action in the female brain, abruptly shutting off a women’s desire for sex and physical touch.”

Gents, is it perfectly clear that making the effort to open a bottle of wine properly and then decanting is a masterful move to help her unwind? Read my last post if you need more convincing.

Drinking wine involves all the senses, as does good sex. Neither act should be done hurriedly, mindlessly, or mechanically. Go slow and tap into all your senses, and invite her to do the same.

Open Up Your Senses, and Hers

While decanting wine:

  • Feel the cool, smooth, firm texture of the glass decanter.
  • Listen to the subtle sound of the wine being poured into the decanter.
  • Watch it swirl as it descends into the belly of the jar.  Be mesmerized.
  • Smell the wine as it mingles with the air and releases its volatile molecules; titillating your olfactory pathway.
  • Taste the wine , first in your mind as you anticipate it while it sits in the decanter; and then slowly and deliberately with your mouth
    and tongue after it has been poured into the wine glass.

Good wine, like good sex, inundates the senses.

Decanting Wine is Easy

First, you need to open the bottle of wine.
Then hold the decanter at an angle (about 45 degrees) with one hand, and pour steadily and slowly, without stopping, until the wine is in the decanter.
That’s it!
Now allow the wine to aerate in the decanter for about twenty minutes.  While waiting, give her a tour of your digs, impress her with your vinyl collection,
or serve her a cocktail.

A Few Decanting Notes:

  • Aged red wines usually have sediment, so decanting should be done with a lit candle. The light will allow you to spot the sediment. Stop pouring when sediment approaches the neck of the bottle.
  • Although many people only decant reds, wine geeks also like to decant whites, especial acidic or bold ones such as chenin blanc or white burgundies. My advice is if you feel like decanting a white wine, do it.
  • Don’t decant champagne as it will deflate all those tiny, happy bubbles.

Watch this video as I show you how to decant a bottle of young red wine,
and how to taste it once it is poured into a wine glass:

Here’s a simple, functional decanter which is easy to clean:

Wine Enthusiast U Wine Decanter

And if you want to get inside her, start by getting inside her head:

The Female Brain

Your Kitchen Seduction Ally,